Welcome to Dumpsville, population: Dimsworth

Gene and I came home from running errands in town to find a full on prison break going on in the back yard. Even Fat Ursula was out, so you know the eating had to be good. As soon as the goats saw me watching through the fence, they immediately stampeded back toward the pasture gate, which of course was closed since they'd trampled the fence to get out. Unfortunately for Fiona, she made the mistake of getting between Dimsworth and Temperance, who were trying to share a moment. The two male turkeys immediately turned to defending their women, and treed Fiona up on the milking stanchion. Once I got the goats secured, I noticed that Temperance, who up until that moment had been Dimsworth's loyal girlfriend, was now enamored with Hawthorne. Apparently he did a better job of defending her from the fearsome goat herd, and now poor Dimsworth is yesterday's news. For his part, Hawthorne didn't make the transition gracefully, he totally shoved it in Dimsworth's face with his incessant gloating, igniting a territory war that is going on even as I type this. I had to separate the two of them, one in the pasture, on outside, and they're currently hurling insults at each other through the fence. Even though it's pitch dark and they can't possibly see each other. I feel sorry for Prudence, Constance, and Hester, who apparently just don't measure up.

But Dimsworth isn't the only one getting shot down around here. Now that the weather has improved, Gene is honing is ratting skills with an improvised target. He's pretty pumped up about it, fresh off of two confirmed Ratzilla kills in the garage. He's out there now, hopefully peering through his night-vision scope, but I think the two tom turkeys are making so much racket they've scared off every rat for miles.